singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
