Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
