Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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