There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
