i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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