I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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