I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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