Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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