he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
