I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
