Im at strip club and am horny
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
