the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
