Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
