Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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