I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
