the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
