whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I'm really busy with my period
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