she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
