OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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