I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
