Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
