i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Acid is not a monday night drug
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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