They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
