I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
