This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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