she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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