DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
