god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
