Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
