do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
