SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
