If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
