Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
