k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
