he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
