Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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