Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
