there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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