I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
