so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
