Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
