Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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