I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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