i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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