youre lurking in front of me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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