I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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