You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
