how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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