During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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