our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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