Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
