i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
