you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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