I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
