based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
