that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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