my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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