okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
