he wants to bone in the snuggie
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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